Hi ,
Often, when we are doing something outside the norm, perhaps a bit bold, or proudly sharing an accomplishment or self-discovery, we may find our Selves on the receiving end of this critical comment. These tiny 6 words strung together can have a powerful impact on us. It is an implicit judgment that can feel shaming and accusatory, and comes from an unhealthy and fearful place within the
person saying it. It may be the perfect trigger to flip on your “self-doubt” switch – making you question what you just shared, how you shared it, and if you came across as arrogant or dare I say “full of your Self.” The horror!
What really would be a shame is that such an unkind judgment can make us think twice about sharing our light, and expressing our Selves with confidence and pride. And may lead us to feel or act small…if we let it.
What if, instead, we hear it differently? And transform that judgment to “Yes, who do I think I am?” 😊 And allow our Selves to reflect on all the positive, kind and unique aspects of our Selves. I’ll start: “I am amazing!”
And “humble.” 😊 What about you?
Ways to Transform This Judgment
- Take a moment and recognize your power in this moment. We can choose to see this unkind remark as an opportunity to reflect on the deeper question of who am I, and realize that this remark (like most) is not really about us. It is a reflection of the other person’s insecurities, and unmet longings.
- Bring increased awareness to how such judgments affect you. What happens to your body in those moments? Does it tighten, shrink, get hot? Where do your thoughts go? Defensive, with some reactivity? A self-doubt spiral? Or shaming and self-blaming – that I shouldn’t “boast” or act proud. And what feelings arise? Sadness, fear, anger, guilt? Then give your Self an extra serving of
compassion.
- Consider how you would have responded to someone if he/she said (or did) the same thing as you. What would a kind and loving response be? Imagine how that person would have felt after receiving your words of celebration and support for them. Now, take a moment, and say those words to your Self. How do you feel?
This week, observe if you are on the receiving end of an unkind comment, either from another person, or perhaps even your Self – through your own self-talk. Consider one way you could transform this comment, and notice the positive shift in energy and mood when you do!
**Connect with me at dr.gionta@gmail.com, if you would like support in taking courageous steps toward moving toward a dream or becoming the best version of your Self.
Enjoy your week!
Dr. Dana
