Hi ,

What would that look like if we were really good friends with our Selves? Would we laugh more with and at our Selves, be more supportive, keep the promises to our Selves, show more compassion, spend more time alone, or put less pressure on our Selves? Perhaps we would do some or all of the above more consistently.

Often, we do the opposite in our daily lives, especially when we are under stress. Some of this is habit, a way of being we’ve either learned or have come to believe is the right way. We may think that it is the only way to be – to motivate our Selves, reach our goals, and get through the day. It could be the only way we feel we know how to respond, even though we wonder if there’s a calmer, more joyful way of being in relationship with our Selves. In any relationship we have with another, there are always two relationships we’re experiencing. One is with the other person, and the second ­­– the most important – is our relationship with our Selves.

Some Ways to Be Better Friends with our Selves

• Reflect on how you have talked and behaved toward your Self over the past week? Would you describe it as kind, supportive, loving? Or more judgmental, should-filled, doubting or unsupportive? Now, just STOP IT! *Couldn’t help myself... if you haven’t seen this Bob Newhart skit, click below for a good laugh 🙂 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ow0lr63y4Mw
   
• Amusing but perhaps not the most loving approach 🙂 What did you discover? How good of a friend are you to your Self? On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being wonderful.
   
• Consider spending some more alone time with your Self over the next week. Think about how you would like to spend this time, what would you enjoy? What would light up your spirit, warm your heart, or bring you peace? Then select one, and carve out some time this week to experience this. Were you able to enjoy being with your Self, your own company? If yes, great! If not, that’s okay. Reflect on what contributed to it being less enjoyable. Then identify one small step you can take to be a better friend toward your Self.

This week, identify the qualities in you that make you a good friend to others. What are the top 5? List them, and then reflect on whether these qualities are also showing up regularly in your friendship with your Self. If not, select one and consider ways you can bring more of that wonderful quality into your most important relationship. Incredible gifts will come as you do!

Enjoy your week!
Dr. Dana