Hi ,

Often, when fear arises in us, we do various things to cope with it – avoid, minimize, deny, judge, placate, get angry, or engage in one of  many less than healthy habits. This is because fear, like several other emotions we may label as “negative” is uncomfortable. Because we are uncomfortable feeling discomfort, we go into our familiar toolbox and rely on one of our trusted and familiar strategies to deal with this uninvited guest 🙂 Usually a strategy we’ve learned in our childhood or young adulthood. By doing this, however, we often then do not deal with the cause of the fear. Many times, the catalyst of the fear is growth – doing something that is outside our comfort zone. And by taking action, stretching our Selves, we build confidence!

Many of us put off dreams we’ve had for years, and avoid making a change we know is important, because of fear.

What if, instead, we decide to get more comfortable with our discomfort and begin building a positive relationship with our “negative” emotions, such as fear. We could do this with anger, sadness, jealousy, helplessness, etc. Instead of going into our safety toolbox, we can choose to bring curiosity to our fear – with the desire to get to know it better. We can do this by gently asking it – Fear – direct questions, such as, “What is it that is making you feel afraid?,” “What do you need in this moment that would help you feel safe?,” “Where in my body do you, Fear, like to show up?,” “What are you trying to protect me from?,” and “If I do X, what would that mean for you?”

As you ask these questions, pause and take several deep breaths between each. Then listen closely to what Fear shares with you. Consider thanking it for trusting you enough to open up, like you would a friend who allowed herself to be vulnerable with you. By listening with kindness, without judgment, you build trust.

This week, notice any sensations of fear that may show up. Consider sitting with Fear for one minute, just noticing your thoughts, any judgments you have about Fear showing up uninvited 🙂 and sensations in your body. Then, kindly ask Fear several questions, either from above or your own. Pause between and take several breaths. Let it know it’s safe to share with you. Listen carefully…what does it tell you?  

Please get in touch with me at dr.gionta@gmail.com, if you would like more support and know you want to make some life changes. Moving forward can be challenging. However, feeling more empowered and happier in our lives is worth it! We can have a relaxed conversation about coaching together, and decide where to go from there.

Tune into my podcast “Living a Vibrant & Empowered Life with Dr. Dana” where I share more in depth – with examples and stories about wellbeing, boundaries and courageous change.
See you there!

Cheers,
Dr. Dana