Hi ,

One of the biggest regrets people have as they are dying is that they didn’t live the life they wanted. They often did what others expected of them, putting family, friends’ and everyone else’s needs above their own. Many of us learn in childhood and through various life roles to put our needs last. We may have strong desires, however, we don’t feel worthy enough to truly have what we want, so we don’t try. 

Many of us also feel guilty if we do consider our own needs in addition to others’. This guilt contributes to us not setting boundaries in our relationships when our intuition and body are loudly signaling we need to. Maybe we were called selfish when we did try to care for our Selves. Perhaps we don’t feel strong enough to cope if we go for it, and don’t succeed. How disappointing that may be. Where would that leave us? Experiencing these uncomfortable and painful feelings can lead us over time to unintentionally disconnect from our deepest needs and desires to protect our Selves. 

Often, we have a niggling sense, a quiet voice whispering to us that this isn’t the life we imagined for our Selves. That “I’m not living my own life.” The life that I really want – whether that’s traveling around the world, becoming an artist, finally getting that college degree, starting our own business, or having a child. Sometimes it presents itself through an area of our lives that brings repeated frustration and disappointment. It's important to pay attention to this quiet voice – our intuitive sense – that we are not living true to our Selves. 

Considerations on Living The Life You've Imagined:
 

Reflect on how well you know your Self, what are your important needs? Write them down, and ask your Self, “How well am I meeting my own needs, as well as others’?” If there is an imbalance, notice this. Identify one action you can take to rebalance this, and better prioritize your own needs.

What are 3-5 deep desires you have? Are several of these a part of the life you’ve imagined for your Self? If so, pause and realize that these desires of yours merit your time and attention. With intention, take courageous action toward realizing them.

If you're finding it difficult to take a step toward this, identify one to two obstacles you feel are blocking your ability to do so. Is there a healthy boundary you want to set, but are afraid of hurting someone if you do? Are there societal values / dictates of what success is that feel confusing and distracting you from what your heart wants? Perhaps you have limiting beliefs that what you really want isn’t possible for you.

This week, identify one action you can take that would feel aligned with the life you've imagined for your Self. One of the above reflections is a great start!:) It could be anything – a small step or a leap – in the direction of your desired life. 

Get in touch at dr.gionta@gmail.com if you'd like support in taking a courageous step to create more of the life you desire. 

Enjoy your week!
Dr. Dana