Hi ,

Often, we feel we must use our time wisely. Be productive. Do something that moves our Selves or life forward to a more positive future state. We keep a future self in mind who would then benefit from our present ‘valuable’ use of our time. This can lead to pressure to be productive with our time and not “waste it” by doing nothing. Implicit in this is an underlying state of striving, and expectations for our relationship with Time. 

What are these expectations we might have? Is it that we must be always doing something with it? And that doing must be something that feels useful or that others’ deem productive? That what I’m doing today will lead to xyz tomorrow?  There is a place for this way of thinking and approach to how we use our time. 

 

I wonder though how this affects our ability to just Be with Time. To allow our Selves the freedom and spaciousness to just Be with whatever leisure time we may have, without any pressure or guilt to Do anything. To be on the “receiving end” of whatever may unfold in that hour or two without needing to do anything to “justify one’s existence.” How wonderful, yes! 😀 This quote is from an excellent book, Four Thousand Weeks, Time Management for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman. He talks about the instrumentalization of Time, and how our relationship with Time evolved into that of doing – with an emphasis on productivity with a future state in mind. I highly recommend it if any of the above resonates with you.

 

Ways to Be and Embrace the Gift of Leisure:

Bring increased attention to a typical day of yours. Of the 16-18 hours awake, how much of this time is set aside to relax, enjoy, and renew? Notice the feelings which may arise with any down time? Is there any anxiety, guilt, niggling sense that you “should” do something productive with this time?  Allow your Self to feel this, then take three calming breaths in and out – releasing any pressure you’re feeling in that moment. 

 

Imagine 30 minutes of pure uninterrupted, leisure time to just Be, with no guilt or should’s. You have my 100% permission:) What might that look like for you? Release any thoughts about Doing something with it. Reflect on allowing your Self to just be. Might you take a siesta, sip a comforting cup of tea, journal in a lovely book, sit outside and observe nature? One of the gifts where I live now are the beautiful hummingbirds I get to see daily. It brings me real joy taking a moment to watch them.

 

This week, reflect on your current relationship with Time. Is it a friendly one or more adversarial, feeling like you're always fighting with it, being rushed and pushed around by it? 😀 Consider how you might create a more positive and gentler relationship with it.

 

Identify one small step you can take this week to relax the grip of pressure, shoulds, future strivings – and enjoy the moment, allowing it to be just as it is. This likely will feel uncomfortable at first. However, what a wonderful gift this becomes over time... if we let it! 

 

Get in touch at dr.gionta@gmail.com if you would like support and want to feel confident, peaceful and happier overall. We can talk further and explore whether working together at this time would be helpful.

 

Cheers,
Dr. Dana