Hi ,

There are times in our lives when facing a truth may feel too difficult. Perhaps it is a long-term friendship that is no longer nurturing, a health issue that has returned, disrespectful treatment by a colleague/boss, financial debt that is increasing, or the realization that you’re not really happy. It can be quite uncomfortable and scary, maybe even terrifying, to acknowledge the truth about something in our lives that is important to us.

The thought of potentially losing something that we care deeply about, or that a significant change may be required to improve the situation, can make us feel very uncomfortable.  Sometimes facing the truth requires a major shift in our identity, and how we’ve come to define our Selves.  

What I've often shared with my coaching and therapy clients over the years is that one of the most courageous things we will ever do is face the reality – the truth – of a situation. However, many of us, while we’re gathering up the courage and developing our inner strength and compassion, avoid it.😀 No judgment here. This is a very human response, with much research to support the approach/avoidance pattern we all do at times. 

Transforming Avoidance into Courage

Consider one aspect of your life, such as a relationship that makes you feel uncomfortable, anxious, and hesitant to talk about it. Notice if there are any feelings of shame or judgment around this. If so, allow your Self to acknowledge such feelings, and bring some compassion and kindness to your Self instead. Taking a moment to do this is already an act of courage! 

We cannot face what we are unwilling to first glimpse.

Reflect on what you’ve realized you have been avoiding, and give your Self permission to share it with a close friend or loved one who is nonjudgmental.  If it feels better, reach out to a coach or therapist. This is also courageous… way to go!

If you cannot think of anything you may be avoiding, consider asking a trusted friend or family member for his/her perception of one thing you may be avoiding. Those around us can often see our situation more clearly than our Selves at first. 

This week, bring increased attention to any behavior(s) that supports avoiding whatever situation you have identified. Just notice the behavior and give your Self compassion, and even praise for how creative you've been to be so successful in your avoidance.😀 Imagine the wonder and confidence that will arise when you shift toward courage!

Connect with me at dr.gionta@gmail.com if you would like to set up a free consultation and see how I can support you in moving from avoidance to taking courageous action in your life. 

Cheers!
Dr. Dana